When You Become the Scam
You know what’s a bizarre experience? Finding out you’ve become the villain in a company-wide email. Not because you did anything wrong, not because you leaked data, but because some schmuck out there decided to pretend to be you.
That’s what happened to me. Apparently, there’s some clown on Microsoft Teams going around pretending to be “Michael Ferrara from IT.” He’s calling people, asking for “remote access,” claiming he needs to “confirm updates.” Now, let me tell you something — no one in IT ever says “confirm updates.” You think we enjoy doing updates? We delay them like they’re jury duty. If I’m calling you about updates, either I’ve been kidnapped or I’ve completely lost my mind.
But this guy — this fake me — he’s got attitude. People told me he sounded rude and pushy. One coworker said the first thing he said was, “Hey, it’s Michael from IT. I need to get into your damn computer to check your updates.” Your damn computer! Who even says that? That’s not how IT talks — that’s how your uncle talks when his remote batteries die. Another person said the fake me barked, “Click the friggin’ share screen button already!” Oh sure, that sounds professional. Because when you think “trustworthy IT support,” you immediately think of a guy yelling “friggin’” through Teams. One person even told me he threatened, “If you don’t let me in, your system’s gonna crash and you’ll have to explain it to your boss.” Now that’s classy — tech support with mobster energy.
The Firm-Wide Fame No One Wants
Next thing I know, there’s a firm-wide security bulletin with my name in bold. Subject line: “Beware of Michael Ferrara.” Fantastic. That’s the kind of career highlight you don’t put on LinkedIn. There was even a screenshot of a Teams chat with my name circled in red, like I was on an FBI watch list.
I used to get nice messages — “Thanks for fixing my printer!” or “You saved my day!” Now I get cautious emails like, “Hey, uh, just checking — are you really you?” And to make things even better, the alert said, “Michael Ferrara is not contacting anyone via Teams.” Which means if I actually contact someone on Teams, they treat me like I’m some kind of digital con artist. I say, “Hi, it’s Michael—” and they panic like they’ve just spotted Bigfoot.
So now I’m famous — but not for anything good. I’m not the “IT guy who solved a big issue.” I’m the “IT guy you’re supposed to avoid.” I’ve become the workplace version of a pop-up ad.
The Impostor Has No Filter
The part that really gets me isn’t even the impersonation. It’s the language. The fake me sounds like a guy who learned tech support from The Sopranos. I would normally say something like, “Hi, this is Michael from IT, mind if I take a quick look at your system?” Calm. Polite. Slightly weary, like someone who’s spent a lifetime asking people if they’ve restarted their computer.
But not this guy. He’s out there saying, “Yeah, yeah, just gimme control, alright? Don’t make this difficult.” Who talks like that? He’s turning IT support into hostage negotiation. One employee swore he even said, “Are you stupid or what?” And look, I’ve thought that before — plenty of times — but I’ve never said it. There’s a difference! There’s a certain etiquette in tech support. You keep the frustration internal. You sigh silently. You mutter later, privately, to your coffee mug. You don’t just blurt it out during a Teams call.
Now people think I’m this aggressive, foul-mouthed maniac storming through meetings yelling at coworkers. Somewhere, fake me is out there destroying my good name — one “friggin’ button” at a time.
The Kafkaesque Loop of Being Yourself
Naturally, I tried to clear things up. I went to HR and said, “Someone’s impersonating me.” They looked at me like I just claimed to be my own twin. “Okay,” they said slowly, “but how do we know you’re not the impersonator pretending to be the real you?” Oh, great question. Excellent logic. How do you prove you’re not yourself pretending to be yourself? Do I submit DNA? Bring a childhood photo? Have my mother vouch for me?
Then they tell me they’re “temporarily disabling” my account, just in case. Perfect. Now the real me can’t log in, and the fake me is still out there asking people for screen shares. So I end up emailing IT from my personal Gmail account — “Hi, this is the real Michael Ferrara, please restore my access.” Yeah, that’s convincing. That doesn’t sound suspicious at all.
And here’s the kicker — the fake me is probably getting better response times than I ever did. He’s out there fixing “updates” while I’m sitting here locked out of Teams like a dope. At this point, I’m starting to wonder if the imposter deserves the job.
Familiarity Is the New Vulnerability
You know what’s really unnerving? The hacker didn’t even have to be good. He just needed my name. That’s it. Familiarity equals trust. You see “Michael Ferrara” pop up, and you think, “Oh yeah, he helped me last week.” And just like that, they’ve got you. It’s social engineering’s dirty little secret — people don’t fall for scams because they’re stupid; they fall for scams because they’re polite.
In some sick, twisted way, it’s flattering. Out of hundreds of employees, he picked me. Somewhere out there, this guy looked through a directory and thought, “That’s the name people will believe.” What do you even do with that? You can’t get mad — it’s practically a backhanded compliment. I’m not angry, I’m… honored? It’s like finding out someone stole your identity to get into an exclusive club.
Lessons From the Fake Me
So what’s the takeaway? First, don’t assume familiarity equals legitimacy. Just because you know the name doesn’t mean you know who’s behind it. Second, no real IT person is ever calling you on Teams from an external account asking for remote control. That’s not tech support — that’s how horror movies start. And third, if someone ever contacts you acting like a loud, pushy jerk who says things like “click the friggin’ button,” it’s not me. I might sigh. I might mutter something under my breath. But I don’t do “friggin’.” That’s a line.
Conclusion: The Real Punchline
Maybe this is what modern identity looks like — you’re nobody until someone tries to impersonate you. Fame used to be about recognition; now it’s about plausibility. The new celebrity test isn’t how many followers you have — it’s how easily you can be faked.
And honestly, I get it. The whole digital world is built on pretense. Every profile picture’s a performance. Every email signature is a branding exercise. My imposter just took it to the next logical step.
So if you get a message from “me,” take a second. If it says External, hang up. If it says Internal, maybe take the call — but if I start yelling and swearing at you, it’s not me. Because the fake Michael Ferrara might want your credentials, but the real one just wants five minutes of peace and a coffee that hasn’t gone cold.
#CyberSecurity #WorkplaceHumor #TechTopics #SocialEngineering #ITSupport #IdentityTheft #DigitalLife
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